This article is a transcript of my Podcast Episode: The Possibility Of... Unlocking Possibilities.
So let's talk about unlocking possibilities...
And first, the tricky part... How to see the possibilities for ourselves. This is what I'll be covering here. Because you are not alone my friends! And having a guide, a support, a coach, call it a different perspective, a different voice in your head, someone looking at opportunities with a different lens, to help us see what's possible can't hurt, right? And you know that... that's why you're here!! So congrats on taking that step...
Also, I assume you know that the master of your own life is you... Right?
No one will kick ass at your life better than you will!
The thing is, we, as human, we're very good at building walls... walls that we put up and that block our way to achieving success and living up to what we know is our full potential.
In my experience as a life and business coach, I find that those walls can fit in one big heavy bag...
Our limiting beliefs
Those things we have in our heads that we strangely feel in our heart too and we believe to be true, although, hmmm... there's no proof of them actually being true.
I've asked people in my network what some of their limiting beliefs are. What they believe is holding them back?
Now the examples are endless...
"I'll never have enough money to live the life i want".
"This dude will never go out with me".
"I'm not lucky".
"I never win anything".
"I'm too shy".
"I'm not that interesting".
"I'll never find the right person for me".
"All the good ones are taken".
"I'm not smart enough".
"I'm too old".
"No one is ever there for me".
"I have to do it all on my own".
And so on. I have heard them all in my career... and let me tell you something, very, very rarely do any of these believes stack up.
Those limiting beliefs might be coming from our upbringing, from our parents, from our friends... I mean:
You can blame your limiting beliefs on anyone out of yourself if that makes it easier for you to deal with... but the truth is, only you can change them.
Sure, it's undeniable, as kids, in our development, at home, at school, with our friends and family, some things happen that contributed to shaping who we think we are, how we behave and interact in the world. Undeniable.
And i'm sorry to break it to you, these are all unhelpful and often unhealthy ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. And it feels like we have absolutely no control over these... We just take those thoughts, feelings and ways of being for granted. It affects our sense of self, how we fit in the world, how we connect, what we do and how we do it.
This is super serious stuff as it can profoundly impact our relationships, our achievements, and our level of well being and happiness as a whole. But let me give you a lighter example from my own experience, of a limiting belief and how it impacted me till a few years ago. This might help demonstrate what I mean in a super concrete way.
Is this for real? Or... Am I having a beetroot moment?!
When I was a kid, I never ate beetroot. I hated Beetroot. Well at least I was convinced that I hated beetroot. The truth of the matter is, that my mother, and my grandmother, and my aunt, and my sister, every woman in my life really, used to say that I didn't like beetroot.
So my grandma would make this potato, egg, and beetroot salad... yup, sounds a bit funny... and till recently I never knew how good it was... Anyway, so she'd make the salad, it'd be presented on the table, everyone would be served some, but not me. Cause I didnt like beetroot they said.
Well, what really happened is...
When I was really little, 2 or so, my grandma made her famous beetroot salad, and the colour of it just scared the hell out of me... Soooo purple, and the potatoes would turn purple and the eggs would turn purple, ... what if I'd turn purple too, right?!?
So I'd screeeam at the sight of the good old beetroot as the colour just frightened me. Never tasted the thing though. But it became Marion hates beetroot. I guess I did for a while.
Now fast forward 20 years after that, I get to Australia where I now live, and if you've ever been to Australia you'd know one of the things here is Beetroot in burgers... yup, another strange thing related to beetroot in my life... So I'm here 23 years old at the time, order a burger at the pub, and there it comes with beetroot in it.
Hmmm...
I don't like beetroot I thought straight away. You got it that was my limiting belief. So I was going to take the beetroot out of my burger or actually even order a new one as my bun and beef patty had gone purple already!!
And then it occurred to me....
I can't actually recall what beetroot tastes like. Yes!!! That's because I actually never recall having beetroot!! And right after that I thought... might be worth a try.
A bit of context here... I was on a round the world adventure at the time, fearless, up for anything... I had crickets in Thailand, surely the beetroot monster wasn't gonna hurt me... So I had a big bite at that burger, and guess what... it was deeelicious!! And for the record, i actually like beetroot.
Likewise, one of my friends used to tell me that he did not like fish. And the story went, when he was a kid, his mum was force feeding him fish. It could have been anything else... like beetroot... but it was fish. One day he was running away from his mum to avoid eating fish... when bang! He hit himself in the coffee table. Fell down, face bleeding, stitches... After that, mum never fed him fish again. So he went on living his life not eating fish, till he got to his twenties and realised, he'd be worth giving it a go. But to him, fish was associated with the pain of hitting that coffee table as a kid.
Associations create a reality distortion which affects our thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
In my friend's case resulting in not eating fish. In my case resulting in not eating beetroot.
Conclusion
Long story short, things happen in our lives that make us feel, think, and believe, things that are not actually real. And those thoughts, feelings and beliefs, affect our actions.
Recognising your deep-rooted negative, unhelpful, unhealthy beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviour patterns, and exploring how they impact your actions, will help you commit to a valued life and set goals that will lead to committed actions towards a more fulfilling life.
As ghandi said...
"Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your values
Your values become your destiny"
I clearly was not destined not to have beetroot in my life!
Joke aside, you have the power to create your own destiny, and it all starts with your beliefs.
Challenging yourself to look at the world from a different perspective. Asking yourself questions that will create opportunities. Will change your life for the better.
I believe that embracing your life journey and believing in the possibilities is the most empowering thing we have.
So today, and over the next week, I encourage you...
Every time you have a negative thought crossing your mind...
Just pause for a second... And ask yourself:
Is this for real?! Or... Am i having a beetroot moment?!?
In this podcast, I will be sharing stories that will show what is possible. And exploring tools that will open up new possibilities for you. Because unless you see and believe in what's possible and you know how to access it, well, you'll probably be stuck in an unfulfilled life where you're not living up to your full potential, and you dont know why... and you're not happy about it.
Over the next few episodes, we will cover all sorts of possibilities from the possibility of change to the possibility of financial freedom to the possibility of unconditional love.
What if you could be, do, and have, anything you truly desire?
Keep listening and we'll work it out together.
Subscribe to the Unlocking Possibilities Podcast.
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